I have always loved reading. Even as a child, you could always find me wrapped up in some kind of book, whether it be picture or a novel. I’ve read plenty of stories and thrillers that included killers, demons, and monsters; but not even that prepared me for the horror that is: the orgasm gap.
The orgasm gap is very similar in theory to the pay gap. Basically, women aren’t being compensated equally with their male counterparts for the same amount of work they’re putting in. In short, men suck at getting women off. This isn’t just hearsay either, there have actually been several studies done to attest to this.
In one study, the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior polled around 2,000 adults ranging from age 18 to 59. In this survey, they asked about their last sexual encounter and if they had an orgasm. 91% of the men that participated in heterosexual sex survey claimed that they did orgasm while only 64% of women claimed the same thing. Overall, on average only 1 woman orgasms during sex for every 3 men that do.
So what is the cause for this gap? It has been argued that biologically, it’s just harder for women to orgasm; but this isn’t true. According to The Social Organization of Society, cisgender women who have sex with other cisgender women actually achieve orgasms much more frequently. It was also noted how regularly women orgasm simply through masturbation. On average, it only takes both men and women 4 minutes to orgasm from masturbation.
A cause for this gap can be simple socialization. Women are often brought up to be more giving and nurturing than men; which often translates into the bedroom as well. Men are taught to be more dominant and to be receivers rather than givers. This is discussed furthermore by sociologist CJ Pascoe. In her studies, Pascoe found that men define masculinity by how well they can dominate women; oftentimes viewing them as objects to be won. This reasoning leads men to view women as things to be desired, but not necessarily to give desire to.
Basically, this gap exists because of how men are socialized. Men are taught how to win women, but not necessarily how to pleasure these women once they have them. Studies have shown that women in relationships receive more orgasms from their boyfriends and the orgasm gap decreases as the person cares more for the other person. This is good news, but the gap shouldn’t exist in the first place. In order to eradicate this gap, it’s important that men start learning to pleasure women properly.